Help me teach Glenn Beck, Michelle Malkin, Stephanie Meyer, Dan Brown, Sarah Palin, and Vicki Myron a lesson!

I just don't get it! I slave for years hiking trails, being slumped in front of the computer, and traveling to bookstores all over the Northwest doing promotions-and I just can't get on the book best sellers lists. Glenn Beck sells a zillion copies of his latest book before it even comes out. Same for Brown. Meyer-sheesh, I hold my tongue. And Palin-give me a freakin break. I hope the person who wrote it for her gets more than a fair cut. Now, nobody said making a living as a writer was going to be easy. But I work hard. I want my cut of the publishing pie too! So I have two options to get even here with these successful writers. Either you go out and buy my books for all of your friends and family right now-or my next book will be about a conservative vampire cat that gets embroiled in a conspiracy! Write on....